I got the feedback report from Sam my tutor at the end of October but then went away on a short holiday (back to Vieux Nice as it happens!), hence the delay in posting this.
It’s an insightful and thought-provoking set of feedback as usual, and is thankfully generally rather positive. There are of course pointers on how to develop and improve, and in a couple of instances preferences for my ‘alternative’ shots, but on the whole it’s pretty good feedback.
From the Overall Comments section:
“You have demonstrated a good technical approach to the capture of colour and your work on this is a real strength. The prints are of a good quality and have translated very well from digital.
The work presented has a clean and professional look and hangs together coherently. It would be easy to see this in a travel magazine environment”
The comments on the use of colour pleased me greatly, as I saw that as a significant part of the success of the assignment – and increasingly an element of my evolving ‘personal style’. I’m equally pleased with ‘clean and professional’ as this was exactly what I was aiming for and I put a lot of attention to detail into the presentation.
Comments per set:
1. Establishing shot and 2. Medium shot
- The comments on the first and second page shots were intermingled, as the tutor feel that a stronger opening shot was what I’d considered for the second page (2a Medium)
- “The image you chose for the second page, is very strong and visually engaging. The light on this is very beautiful, I wonder if this would be a more engaging establishing front page shot? It is very strong and next to the busier more traditional image I do think it has more impact.”
- “The alleyway image has some impact. The yellow building front is pleasant although again is not as strong as the one you finally decided on.”
- So I’m considering swapping around 1a and 2a
3. Interaction shot
- “The artist at work on the street works well, I am pleased to see you including people as this also provides the suggestion that others go there and maybe I could be one of those people experiencing that space too. It gives the feeling of access.”
- “The alternative market shot has potential and the reflection is well seen but it has disengaged feeling, so less of the idea of making the viewer be involved.”
- I agree on both comments and will stick with 3a in the assessment version
4. Detail shot
- “This study of the traditional seller is challenging to look at as it has some strange equipment! The cone shaped cover is interesting and I think the man with the strange black helmet on is fun to look at.”
- “I do like the alternative image with the tangle of aerials. I wonder if this would have been stronger with a tighter crop. Your mention of using the other images as a small body of work with people as the connection, is valid and does work.”
- “The image of the red bike is also strong and as you say the colours are amazing, this could be further emphasized with a slightly different composition? The windows to the left are a little distracting and the image does drive the viewer to look there and away from the more graphic blocks of colour.”
- I think I will try a different crop on the scooter shot, but I’m looking back I’m not as drawn to the aerials image; I do still like the idea of keeping the connection of these images being of people though
5. Portrait shot
- “This [5a] is a very engaging image, what lovely facial hair! His face is very expressive.”
- “The other image is well balanced and it is pleasing but it does not have the human connection the other image has.”
- Agreed on both counts – I really like the moustachioed gent shot, it has a nice serenity to it; the other shot is definitely less engaging in that respect
6. Closing shot
- “The detail and lighting in this image are strong and do evoke the idea of life and the end of the day. The bold colours work very well.”
- “Your alternative image is strong and graphic and interesting although is a little more distanced feeling.”
- “The doorway photo is bold but as you suggest it is a little bit of a change of pace than the other work.”
- I concur with the comments on 6b and 6c and so intend to stick with my first choice
“Do read around your approaches to continue to develop your theoretical stance. Consider looking at the history and development of documentary / editorial practice in photography and where it stands in contemporary photography.
I think this work could be considered for publication rather than left as an exercise, do some further research into suitable publications?”
I’m very encouraged by this final comment! Nice to think that someone considers it worthy of publication. I’ll look into that.